Lyric Three Point One Four - Bloodhound Gang

Lyric Song Three Point One Four: My last girlfriend didn t like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn t excite me
Lefty Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn t that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her yquot;Lyquot; now she s a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I m not the smartest peanut in the turd
I m white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I m looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies
Like em easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treatgee
You know what I really want in a girl Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It s hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein Kind of North Carolina

Women are like dogdoohear me through don t interrupt
It s just the older that they are the easier they get to pick up
I d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain t a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexicthe winner is the thinner
Won t have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef we ll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don t play rough
No I can t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFXsmart like Janeane Garafolo
She d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal Systemgee
You know what I really want in a girl Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It s hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein Kind of South Carolina

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