Lyric This Grudge - Alanis Morissette

Lyric Song This Grudge: Fourteen years
thirty minutes
fifteen seconds I ve
held this grudge

Eleven songs
four full journals
thoughts of punishment
I ve expended

Not in contact
not a letter
such communication
telepathic
you ve been vilified
used as fodder
you deserve a piece
of every record

But who s it hurting now
Who s the one that s stuck
Who s it torturing now
with an antique knot in her stomach

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that s grown old
all this time I ve not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Like an abandoned house
dusty covered
furniture
still intact
If I visit it now
will I simply re live it
somehow gratuitous

But who s still aching now
Who s tired of her own voice
Who is it weighing down
With no gift from time of said healing

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that s grown old
all this time I ve not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us

Maybe as I cut the cord
veils will lift from my eyes
Maybe as I lay this to rest
dead weight off my shoulders will rise

Here I sit
much determined
ever ill equipped
to draw this curtain
how this has entertained
validated
and has served me well
ever the victim

But who s done whining now
Who s ready to put down
this load I ve carried longer than I had cared to remember

I want to be big and let go
of this grudge that s grown old
For the life of me I ve not known
how to rest this bygone
I wanna be soft and resolved
clean of slate and released
I wanna forgive for the both of us